Sleeping Arrangements

Mills is back again.

As Drew mentioned, Thursday night at Geovanti's was quite a grand time. Drew and Goethals on the mic saved the day. Maura even came out. We are eternally grateful for her presence. We jammed out all night until they kicked us out.

Gayballs and I decided it would be appropriate to purchase some world famous Geo's chicken strips. We brought them back to our host family's Great Hall. I hadn't even finished one strip, and I decided it was time to go to bed. My next memory is Jake Rohde looking up at me and telling me to get out of his bed. This is what seemed to happen...

I walked into Room 31 (Jake's room and Jake's bed are both in the same location as mine - directly one floor above...maybe that confused me?) and asked Rohde if I could sleep up there. In his drunken/half asleep mindset, he allowed this to occur. Mike Wong is an eyewitness to both of sleeping in the same twin bed. I do not know the length of time that this went on for. When Rohde got up to go to the bathroom (thanks for not peeing on me, Jake) he came back and woke me up. Without having a ladder to get down, I was awfully confused. Jake tried giving me instructions about stepping on the door handle, but this inevitably led to me falling down and knocking over a glass of water. I then walked downstairs and finished the night in the comfort of my own bed in Room 23.

What have I learned about Champaigné? There are no "assigned" beds here. Everyone is welcome to sleep with whomever they want, whenever they want. It is an incredible freedom. I only wish that everyone in the world could experience this unique lifestyle.

You will not go to Heaven, you'll go to Champaign, Illinois.

The Crazies

               This week has been a little low key here in Champainge. Classes have actually started to kick into gear and it has set in that this place is not a never-ending orgy of money, fame, and drinking. But we still had a good time.

                On Tuesday the guys and I went out to one of the local hot spots for a thing called wine night. I guess on this special night at the Clyborne, all the bottles of wine are 9 dollars. This is cheap especially because this is only about 6.50 euro! What a deal!

                Thursdays are the big night in champaigne each and every week. All of the students are almost done with class (Some who are studying for business degrees don’t even have class on Friday) and want to celebrate by partying. This Thursday we decided to go to Brothers, but when we got there, the line was all the way down the street. Miller and I were with Jake Rhode, Kyle Goethalls and Alex Ostott and none of us wanted to wait in the cold, so we went to a place called Geovanti’s. This place is a restaurant upstairs and a bar downstairs and is great because most people don’t know about the bar.

There was a great local band playing live music called Draft Week and all the guys when crazy for them, especially the very untalented bassist. Draft Week did, however, play some great cover songs like Bruce Springsteen, Four seasons, Katy Perry, and Blink 182. The highlight of the night was when they wanted to play Third Eye Blind’s Semi-Charmed Life but didn’t know the words. Luckily for them Kyle and I were there to offer up our vocal services to them. They agreed and I was lead vocals while Kyle rocked the backup vocals. It was the greatest moment longer than one minute in my life. We really nailed the song and even the people who we didn’t know said we were awesome.

Now to the main point of the story: Girls with Crazy eyes. These are girls who lock-in, girls who search and destroy, girls who refuse to give up, and girls who act without any sense of logic. Now I know if you’re a guy, you have at least one girl in your mind that has crazy eyes, and if you’re a girl, you question the existence of such things. Let me be the one to tell you, they exist and they are sneaky. On Wednesday night, Kyle Goethals, John Parker Colin Cuzman and I experience firsthand the sneaky traps of a woman of this caliber when we met a girl from Kyle’s class.  

The first sign of a crazy girl is right at the point you see her, she will immediately scream and say how she has been looking for you all night and is soo happy to see you. You may think you were the one guy she wanted to see but she has told that to at least five other guys by now. If this happens to you do not panic, you still have plenty of time to escape but whatever you do, do not fall for the next move the guilt trip drink. This is her attempt to get drunker for free and get you drunk enough to slip fully into her grasp. It’s a bad move for that reason and the fact that it will cost you money.

Next is the fatal move, the clench. Once this happens you know that as a male you’re in deep trouble and you are going to need some help to get out of this jam. The clench can come in many forms, but is most commonly a hand clench (not a nice gentle hold like normal girls but a deathly grip that makes you wonder if she is giving birth), arm grab (you may think she’s grabbing your huge but she’s reeling you in) or a belt grab (this is the most obvious and dangerous grasp). At this point, most people are going to try to escape and put some distance between them and the crazy. Whatever you do, do not say you’re going to the bathroom. This is the most obvious ditch attempt and she will know what you are up to immediately. This is visible in many situations where guys have actually had to go to the bathroom, gone, waited in line, and come out only to find their wonderful lady waiting for them outside asking why you tried to ditch her. Logic is out the door especially if she’s drunk and she will almost certainly start to cry.

Once the tears start to flow, any man is a goner. She is guilt tripping you right into your bed. Do not offer to walk her home, just immediately walk away. Tell her you have a girlfriend. Tell her you have class in the morning. Tell her you have class now. Tell her you have diarrhea. Anything. If you decide to bring her back your life will be ruined. She will assume you’re dating and tell everyone she knows and once you tell people you two are not together, she will make up terrible rumors about you and convince everyone you raped her….. Well maybe that’s a bit unrealistic but still be careful.

In the end we all made it out alive and the girl from Kyle’s class was sent home empty handed. We had a great week and I can’t wait for some more great times.

Remember, when you die you will not go to heaven, you’ll go to Champaign, Illinois. 

Week de Syllabus

Millsap here.


I slept in on Tuesday and went to my first class of the semester a half hour late - great academic start to 2011. Later that night, our host family had a supposed "recruitment event" at their house. There was plenty of hand shaking and talking. Someone told me after one month of doing this, they would have new brothers. I know the stork theory is not true, but I never knew shaking hands would have that effect. Later Tuesday night, Goethals, Rasley and I were invited to a "Club Baseball practice." It was a nice gesture of them to include us. We got dressed, had a few drinks, then were ready to finally try out the club scene. We had heard great things about the music, dancing, and ladies. To our surprise, we went to a giant dome with fake grass. There were no drinks and no music. Guys were throwing and hitting little white balls. Needless to say, we are still adapting to the culture. That night, we did not hit the pubs, but other of our housemates did. It must be a old tradition to come home and hold down an air horn for hours. Simply put, Smiles does not like that tradition.


Wednesday will go down in history as the night Goethals sold his body in public (see guest post below). On Thursday, we played Four Corners (which is quickly becoming our favorite game) and went Kam's (which is quickly becoming our favorite pub). Upon returning to our house, we sat in Room 24 until Smiles fell asleep on his couch.


I woke up on Friday and had zero intentions of going out that night. I had to be up early on Saturday so I was looking forward to hanging out at the house for the night. Within an hour, I received a text from my brother Kevin who is studying abroad in Bloomingtoné, which is only about 45 minutes away from Champaigné. He told me he was coming to visit that night. So my plans change and following an afternoon nap, Kevin came with Jackson, Garrett, and Brian. After playing some Four Corners (naturally) we went to a place nicknamed "Late Night" because they serve food late at night. Get it? My waffle fries and chicken strips that Stu provided for me were delicious. We decided to check out Joe's Brewery, but there were 2 big busses parked outside. I was told that these "paddy wagons" take kids to jail. I don't understand why people would want to do that. We went to Kam's and were excited to see no line. We ultimately did not go in because they would not grant us entrance without paying $5. No thanks. That led us to Johnstowne Apartments to play a game called Things. On our way home we ventured to the Alpha Phi house to pound some chocolate milks and heat up burgers in a panini maker.



My highlight of Saturday came circa 1AM when I went to Castillo's place. We started to clean up for beer pong and a bunch of nasty liquids ended up in a cup. Manfa and Watters offered Castillo $10 to chug the cup without puking. Let's just say Castillo is $10 richer. I later got Geo's chicken with my cousin Mike and had a big time life talk with Smiles, Clay, and Rohde back at the house.


Oh, the Bears' season is over.


You will not go to heaven, you'll go to Champaign, Illinois.

Whats the difference between me and you

Illinois Basketball sucks, Bears Blow, but we had fun last night. It was "wear your favorite Kirby Jersey night".

The Beginning

Mills here, and oh what a ride down it was. We left Darien, IL at 9:35AM, 5 minutes behind schedule. I could barely see Smiles who was next to me because there was so much stuff piled high. The ride went quickly, though, because of our jam sessions and intriguing conversations.

The so-called "American football" was very exciting. I think the white stuff falling from the sky made it much more difficult. There is a buzz in the air for next Sunday.

I as well got a quick pump then ate a sandwich. I intended to go explore the city on their subway, but ended up with a chicken sandwich in my hand.

Back home, I played some "Four Corners" with my good ol' pals for hours. Then it was time to venture out to Kam's and Smiles gave me the honors of going in first. I agree with Smiles regarding the popularity of this pub. It was very crowded and seemed to get more crowded as the night grew older. I enjoyed plenty of drinks with the sophisticated name of "Blue Guys." I met up with my one and only freshman year roomie T-Mac. I also met Jeff Allen and he gave me the new nickname "Millsap."

After Kam's seemingly kicked us out at 2AM, Big Cat and I walked to Geovanti's to grab some of their famous chicken strips. We scarfed them down in Room 1 and then I went to bed...only to wake up with a line on my face. I guess I woke up before Big Cat could do more damage.

There is no better way to start the year than celebrating MLK's birthday. I slept a lot then went to the Activities and Recreation Center to play some basketball. We are getting ready for the upcoming intramural season.

McCaleb and Rach came down to Champaigne on Monday night. We hung out in Room 24 for a while then went to Brother's. When we walked in at 11PM, "Closing Time" was playing. That was wierd. It was McCaleb, Rach, Goethals, Big Cat, Jmo, Parker, and myself. My dear cousin Maura showed up after a while. We sat around a table and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company and shared stories and laughs.

Goethals, Big Cat, and I walked Maura back to Chi O and were very disappointed with the lack of food in the kitchen area. Luckily, back at the house, Big Cat had Tostito's with a Hint of Lime and Goethals had Cheddar Bunnies. Great end to the night.

Finally, I was to expound on Smiles's last quote. He is quoting the song "Champaign, Illinois" by Old 97's. I heard this song on the radio last week and have brought his down here with me. I want to take credit for publicizing this song. It is our theme song for the Spring 2011 semester. It will soon be a campus hit. You heard it here first.

No, you will not go to Heaven...You'll go to Champaign, Illinois.

Syllabus week part one

Andy here


We got to champaigne a few days ago on sunday. I rode down in a car with Big Cat, Mils, and Gaythals and boy was it a great trip. We had three dudes packed to the brim in that car jamming out to the Beatles the whole way down. We got here just in time for the Bears vs Seahawks playoff game. Ive never seen such passion for such a complicated game. Its called football but that game is not played with your foot, but thats besides the point.  The bears won and everyone in the town was all riled up because the bears play the packers in chicago next Sunday.


After a quick lift, us men rolled over to a local pub named Firehause for some dinner and drinks. We had a cute waitress who we thought for sure would care if we ordered beers and we were right. We all ordered Miller lights and she asked to see "an id." Lanter was the only one who was 21 in the group so he showed his id and the drinks were out a few minutes later. Its amazing how there is a law here that says people have to be 21 to drink, but not a single person follows that law. Even restaurants who could get shut down will give us alcohol.


We came back from firehause and started playing some drinking games. Kyle and I spent about 30 minutes creating our new drinking game that combines yatzee, quarters, circle of death and basketball. Its really complicated but lets just say 7 yatzees in a row and someone gets a blowjob.....(This city is crazy!!!) After some shots and games of beer mugs we headed off to another Pub called Kams.


Upon arrival to Kams it was instantly apparent this was the hot spot of the town. There was about a 20 min line, a 5 dollar cover charge, and it smelled like poop but there was a ton of people there we knew so it was easily worth it. I lucked out and was in line behind a drunken couple who spent forever getting out their money, so i just walked straight in without paying and no one stopped me.

After hanging out for a while, kyle started letting go the smelliest farts I have ever smelled in my life and everyone around us noticed (thats pretty bad if you can notice it in kams). Some girls walked by and blamed big cat for the farts even after we told them it was Kyle not him. O well I guess kyle is too good looking to fart.

We finally left kams and went home to hang out for a bit. Ya know just doing shananagans and stuff. Anyways. Big cat spent 3 hours running around drawing "I hate the gays" on everyone he could see. John Busch got the worst of it and ended up with a full face tatooo. 

Overall it was a great night and its a bummer school has to start. College without class might be the greatest thing ever. And syllabus week is a close second. 

See ya soon and remember, when you die, you will not go to heaven, you'll go champaign, Illinois.