Lucky Smiles Confusion

Danny up in hurr for this one.

I will start off by saying that Saturday, February 5th was probably the greatest day in the life of Andrew Albert Smiles.

It all starts when the Illini lost at Northwestern. As we watched the CBS telecast, we all felt anger and frustration. Not a great start. But this day gets better.

In the afternoon, we walked over to the Armory to spectate the Club Track & Field meet. Aaron Silver anchored (what's up Delta Gamma followers?) the 4 x 1600 relay. He dominated with his own indoor PR. That stands for personal record.

After the big meet, we were all inspired to work out. So we got a good pump in while jamming out to Lucky Boys Confusion.

For dinner, we travelled to Joe's Brewery. Isn't it weird that they do not brew beer there? Anyways, we all ordered cheeseburgers. The waitress was nice enough to give them to us for HALF PRICE!!! I think she did it just for us. What was more amazing was the fact that Smiles upgraded his fries to...get this...mac 'n cheese! This was no box o' Kraft. This bowl was loaded with so many goodies: bacon, extra cheese on top, you name it, it had it. He could not stop talking about it. Even with a mouthful of mac, he continued to rave. Rohde almost left a bite on his plate. He was peer pressured into eating it. After we all downed few pitchers of water, it was time to go.

Kyle and I went to baseball practice as Smiles and Co. slurped up some liquid carbs. Upon our return, we headed to a much anticipated event on campus...the Lucky Boys Confusion concert at Canopy Club. We got there in time to see the end of the Good Luck Jane set. They were followed by the one and only Draft Week. Zevin and his beard slapped the bass and looked cool on stage. After Draft Week, Smiles and Kirby each chugged a pitcher of PBR to prepare for LBC. When Stubhy and his friends got on stage, the place went nuts. Rohde and Parker moshed hard for an insane amount of time. I think Rohde tallied 25 tackles on the night. Parker was right behind him with 18.

Goethals and I spent most of the concert about three people away from the stage. Smiles, on the other hand, was even closer. I wouldn't say he was front row, but he could at least grab hold of the rail. He even admitted to giving the guy next to him a few good jabs in the ribcage.

So Smiles is right there. He's pumped. He's having a great time. Jamming out loud to every song. His sweat and happiness meters were at an all-time high. About two-thirds of the way through the concert, Stubhy was filling time between songs and while holding a shot of vodka. Smiles felt the need to encourage him by yelling, "VODKA! VODKA! VODKA!" Stubhy apparently didn't need any help as he said, "Shutup drunkass." Everyone laughed because it was funny and that what you do when something is funny. But the story does not stop there. He then went on to say, "Speaking of this drunkass. Yeah, sorry about screwing up back there. During Killians, I was getting close to the crowd and this drunkass was yelling random stuff that was nowhere near the words to the song. I usually don't let these things affect me, but this time for some reason it did. So, I guess, if I had to blame someone, it would be the drunkass right here."

As Stubhy said that, he extended a pound (fist, knucks, closed hand, whatever you want to call it) towards the center of the crowd. Of course, 15 people reached out to touch Stubhy. He retracted his pound and said, "No. Just the drunkass." It was then he extended his pound again and made perfect contact with the knuckles of Andrew Albert Smiles.

Goethals and I went crazy. Smiles interrupted an LBC concert for his drunken shenanigans and then was recognized for it in front of everyone. I turning to Kyle and saying, "This has to be the coolest thing that has ever happend to Smiles!"

The cool didn't stop there. After the encore, Stubhy invited anyone to come up onto the stage. I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Andy was on the stage within minutes. He didn't go to the back and mix in with the rest of the wannabes. He stood front and center and directed the crown.

He gave them Gerry Bertier-like points.

He acted like the conductor of an orchestra as the crowd chanted "LBC! LBC! LBC!"

Kyle then had a thought: we could nab the set list. He screamed to Smiles the vital command, "SET LIST! SET LIST!"

Smiles bent down and scratched...but came up empty. He reported back to us, "IT'S TAPED!"

Kyle exclaimed, "OF COURSE IT'S TAPED DOWN!"

By now, we were worried someone else heard the set list conversation and would swoop in and snag it under Smiles. Not tonight. Not on the greatest night of Drew's life. The security guard noticed his struggles and leaned a speaker off of the set list. This gave Smiles just enough room to rip two-thirds of the set list off of the stage and hand it safely to Goethals.

We walked home in the bitter cold that froze our sweat-drenched clothes. Along the way, we talked about how many people will enjoy this story. While crossing the street, Smiles screamed, "This is going to be the best blog post EVER!!!!!"


Goethals put him in his place with, "Shutup, Smiles. Blog posts aren't that cool."


We ate reheated Geo's chicken and reminisced about the crazy night.

R.I.P. Room 24's table. Loomis stumbled in and walked into Smiles. They both fell over onto the already-injured table. You will be missed.

You will not go to Heaven...You'll go to Champaign, Illinois.